


Kamui Shōen (Let's Visit the Haunted Manor!)

by Varmint



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Children, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood, Fictional Religion & Theology, Friendship, Gen, Ghost Akatsuki (Naruto), Ghosts, Good Akatsuki (Naruto), Halloween, Hidan (Naruto) Swears, I'm Trying to be Historically Accurate, Jashinism, Modern Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Short & Sweet, Spooky, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2020-11-26 09:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: Rumors were that the manor was haunted. But the teenagers had told them that, so they knew it wasn't! Still, they had to at least check the place out- it'd be the perfect headquarters, far away from evil teenagers and patronizing adults. If there weren't ghosts. (Even after two millennia of its existence, very few knew this Manor's truth.)Halloween short story! Ghost Akatsuki!So, this isn't supposed to be scary, per sé, but there'll be horror aspects. Like, imagine if the Naruto children were in a Tim Burton-esque movie. There'll be horror aspects, but it's not supposed to be scary.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not Japanese nor have I been fortunate enough to take any Japanese history courses. The information I know comes from the internet and a few documentaries I've seen here and there. If there are any glaring inaccuracies, please do not hesitate to call me out- I won't learn unless I am taught.
> 
> Halloween is upon us! October is the best month of the year (try and fight me, you'll lose) so here's a spooky but (hopefully) cute story about a haunted house and kids that are much too curious for their own good!
> 
> Please, enjoy~

"The house is haunted."

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is! Why else do you think my mom won't let us get back the balls that fall on the front yard?"

Kiba huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, just about pouting at the blonde girl he was forced to be friends with. She was just as headstrong and rude as Naruto, but because she was a girl, her high pitched voice made her words much more annoying. Kiba didn't like her all that much; the only reason they were even friends was because they lived on the same block.

Besides, she was always acting as if she was _so _much smarter than the rest of them- even though everyone knew that _Shikamaru_ was the genius on their street!

With a growl, Kiba stomped one foot as he pointed at the building of his interest, "Because your parents are cowards that don't want to let us have an adventure!"

Ino's blue eyes widened at the insult, then promptly narrowed as she stuck her hands onto her hips. "Take that back, Dog Breath! You can't just insult my parents!"

"You two have been fighting for hours! The sun's almost set and we've barely done anything today!" Naruto interjected as he jumped up from the curb, making his way in between them both. "You've wasted a whole day arguing with each other and we haven't even planned a new prank on our greatest enemies!"

Still seated on the curb, Shikamaru sighed, "The teenagers are still going to be living here tomorrow- there's no need to rush."

Naruto frowned at their genius friend and walked back to him, squatting beside him to frown directly into his eyes. "Uchiha Itachi managed to destroy our last offense with his stupid big brain. Now they think they've got the upper hand! Kotetsu _looked_ at me today- they know they're winning this war!"

"Wait, did the jerk really-" Kiba shouted out in dismay, "Ino, if you'd just let us go into that place and do what we wanted to do, we would have been done by now! If it weren't for you, we would be making battle plans right now!"

Ino rolled her eyes at the shouting from the boys, "If you weren't so caught up on trying to find ghosts, then we never would have even had this stupid argument!"

Kiba scoffed, rolled his eyes, and promptly blamed her one more time. Ino shook her head and stomped over to Shikamaru, throwing herself to sit beside her oldest friend.

"They're both such jerks!"

Shikamaru groaned and hung his head, resting his elbows on his knees. His mother had always scolded him about sitting on the pavement, but seeing how his mother was currently within their home and did not have a clear view of him, he wasn't about to stand around when he could instead sit down.

"Well, you can thank Hana for telling Kiba about the haunted house." the lazy genius lifted his head lazily up to the sky, back still hunched, in a rather awkward position. "Hinata thinks that it was a strategic move on the teenagers' part- trying to distract the main troublemakers from focusing on them for at least a few days." finally, he sighed, "If that was their plan, it's clearly working."

This war between the children and teenagers of the neighborhood had been going on for as long as any of them could remember. Word on the street was that this was a war that had begun during the first days of the creation of the neighborhood- when the kids of the first settlers were one day systemically wedgied by their older siblings. Ever since then, the rivalry had remained very much alive, even after more than two hundred years of fighting.

Ino wasn't a hundred percent sure about the facts behind the story and Shikamaru flat out denied the very idea of a two hundred year old rivalry in a neighborhood in the Hokkaido Prefecture. He said that the neighborhood hadn't existed for that long. But their more dramatical friends didn't really care about history; they just wanted to get back at the evil teenagers that kept attacking them.

The blonde girl growled in frustration, balling up her hands into fists. She couldn't believe just how annoying her friends could be sometimes! Even though she had lived in this specific house for three years now, she still was sometimes completely surprised by how irritating they could be.

"You can always just leave and go home."

"And make those two think I gave up?" she scoffed at the very idea. "No thank you, Shika. With idiots like these, you've got to fight to keep your dominance."

Shikamaru shook his head softly at the girl's words, "Something tells me you've been spending too much time around the Inuzuka. Remember that if you're not careful, Tsume'll adopt you."

This warning had Ino smiling- Tsume was kind of like the eccentric aunt of all the children within their little community. She loved all of the children and tried to spoil them all, even though she also dominated over them with an iron fist. Say what one might about Tsume Inuzuka, but she was one of the most trustworthy adults within the bubble that was their neighborhood. If ever any of the kids had a problem, she was the first person many of them ran to. Because they just naturally sought her out for refuge, the joke about her formally adopting them all ran rampant. Even though no non-Inuzuka had yet been given such an honor.

Ino remained silent after this, just listening to Naruto and Kiba babbling about doing reconnaissance on the haunted house so many meters away from their neighborhood. They were talking about how they needed to know all about the ghosts that lived within so they were prepared for any possible enemies- even though they both highly doubted that there were actually any ghosts living within the abandoned structure.

"Alright, Ino, Shika, you've heard our plans!" Naruto finally turned to them with his fist poised before his chin.

Ino frowned at him- she honestly believed that the abandoned house was abandoned for a _reason._ They were only children. It wasn't wise to go ahead and tempt the fates by visiting such a dangerous place.

"Tomorrow morning, we'll tell everyone else about our plans." Kiba nodded beside his blonde best friend, as if he was a thousand percent sure that they were the second smartest kids in the area. "We're going to storm _Kamui Shōen_!"

Naruto's smile was as wicked as the glint within Kiba's eyes, "Spirit Manor!"

Ino closed her eyes and lamented having these idiots as her friends.

* * *

_Kamui Shōen _was the oldest building within the village of Konohagakure. Legend had it that it had been built by the first settlers of Hokkaido, the Jomon people, well before the eighth century C.E. Such a legend was a stretch of reality, but it was not as if anyone living now would ever be able to learn the truth about this Manor.

There were no historical records about the manor. Even though it had stood for more than two millennia at this point, there were very few people that knew the truth about the Manor.

He was one of those select, fortunate souls that knew the truth about this Manor.

How did he know such information?

He had been the one to build the first temple, of course. As an act to prove his devotion to his god, he had traversed all of a once-warring Japan to reach the sacred lands of the then-unnamed Konohagakure. As an act of peace with the ferocious clan that had accompanied him in such a pilgrimage, he had agreed to name the small village Konohagakure.

The Senju had been terrifying. Hashirama, the leader, had not been the reason why he considered them terrifying. No, that honor fell to Tobirama, Hashirama's only remaining brother and only right-hand man.

Red eyes narrowed when they caught sight of a group of children- twelve, if he was counting adequately- by the dilapidated gates that led to the long path that came before one arrived at the Manor.

"What the fuck?"

The only female within the Manor- which was a fact that _still_ bothered him to this day- cleared her throat.

"They're coming in to prepare traps for the teenagers of the street." she walked up until she was standing right beside him, then leaned to look through the barred window. "They're precious. _So innocent_."

He frowned.

"This is no place for innocence and you know that, Konan."

"I'm aware, Hidan." she sighed, closing her eyes.

Melancholy was her perpetual state of emotions. He couldn't blame her. Not with the life she had lived; not with the death she had received.

"We should gather everyone; make sure they behave." she offered, "Kisame'll try and scare them off with those teeth of his. And Kakuzu's always going on about turning intruders into someone like him."

He scoffed and, with a roll of his eyes, he turned around and began to make his way back to Jashin's shrine. "Those heathens can't hurt children. You know that."

The room they were within was the highest within the whole Manor. This was the last place Jashin's shrine had been moved. Because of this, he had been forced to change his whole routine.

He still hadn't forgotten those two Uchiha idiots for having, essentially, banished him to this cold area.

He heard the woman sigh one final time before she disappeared through the floorboards. "It'll be nice to see such life- even if they won't be able to see us."

When he was sure she was gone, Hidan scoffed and shook his head. The woman was the smartest of the idiots that he was forced to now live with; but she wasn't knowledgeable in the strange ways of the one true god. Lord Jashin worked in mysterious ways. And if he had decided to send this group of children their way, then it was for a _reason_.

Picking up a discarded cloth, he began to polish the left pec on the golden statue of his Lord Jashin.

"May the goodness in my heart be rewarded." he whispered as he closed his eyes, only to shiver when a sudden wave of _warmth_ crashed into him.

The children had entered the Manor.

It was uncomfortably _comforting_ for his body to feel the gust of life within his domain once more. The last time he had felt such a thing, he had wound up stuck with those Uchiha idiots in his afterlife.

With a frown, the devout Jashinist bowed to his Lord's effigy and offered his goodbyes. Then he allowed his form to dissolve through the floor beneath him.

Konan had a point. Maybe it would be a good idea for all of the idiots he was stuck with to be reminded of proper etiquette around children. The last thing he needed was for any of these pagans to insult his god.


	2. Chapter 2

They were separated.

Kiba wasn't sure exactly how it had happened- one second he had been walking beside Hinata, Neji, and Hanabi, flashlights within all their hands... And the next... The next he was trapped inside a library.

Granted, Tenten had warned about this happening. Shikamaru had seconded her warning. And stupid Ino had tried to say they were being stupid, they needed to leave immediately. But he was _Kiba_. He _didn't_ listen to Ino. And if she was saying the same thing as Shikamaru and Tenten, then he wasn't going to listen to them either.

Oh, he could just hear stupid Ino's stupid, shrilly voice harpying in his ear: _"I told you this place was haunted! You should have listened to me! You stupid idiot!"_

With a growl, the boy picked himself up from the ground and began to dust himself off. Then he plucked Akamaru out of the hood of his jacket, looking him over to make sure that the puppy had not been injured because of the unexpected fall they had taken.

With a soft yip of worry, Akamaru's legs began to kick at the air. Because he immediately knew what the puppy wanted, Kiba rolled his eyes, but obliged. He returned Akamaru to his safe perch and then began to look around the area he was now within.

He was in a library.

Immediately, his already fool mood worsened.

The boy's face scrunched up in displeasure at all of the books around him. He had never liked books. His mom was always throwing them at him in a misguided attempt to get him to read some more. At this point, all he truly knew about books was that they were really good weapons to utilize whenever his sister tried to get close to him- he didn't trust her; she was a _teenager_.

"Okay. I've just got to find the door out of here. Then I can find my friends and we can really check out these new headquarters." he reminded himself, all the while beginning to try and find the way out.

… he couldn't.

There were rows upon rows of bookcases encircling him. But there was no doorway, it seemed.

Blinking at the sight before him, Kiba began to feel frustration bubble up within him.

He hated it whenever Ino was right.

"What're you doing in here?"

The graveled voice was so low it could have scratched the ground. Jumping at the sudden appearance, Kiba turned around to try and find the source of the new voice.

He found a long haired man sitting on a recliner. He was dressed in a simple suit; one knee was hooked over the other and Kiba could see shiny business shoes on his feet and the beginnings of dark blue socks. His skin was dark and his hair was long and black. But he couldn't see a face- it was covered by a book held over it by gloved hands. He only knew the hair was long because of the tips that came down to his chest.

Kiba stared at him without saying anything. He then felt Akamaru shift on his head, attempting to hide deeper within his jacket's hood.

"I asked you a question." the man cleared his throat, as if he was growing annoyed. "What're you doing in here?" he repeated.

Kiba frowned but decided that it wouldn't hurt to ask him for help to get out of the library, "I got lost." he explained simply, "Which way's out?"

"I'm aware you got lost. I wasn't asking what you're doing in my library." the man's voice became sharper, clearly losing his patience. Kiba... admittedly, took a step back. "I'm asking what you're doing in my house."

"You're house?" if his voice quivered, it was because it was cold. _Not_ because he was scared. He was Kiba Inuzuka. He _didn't_ get scared. "This place's haunted."

"Exactly."

"What?"

The man didn't say anything else. He just remained quiet, passing a page on his book.

Kiba frowned at him, but decided to get away from the guy before anything could happen to him. He didn't know who this guy and this house was supposed to be abandoned- it may not be a good idea to stay in a room with him.

So he set off and after a few minutes of walking down endless corridors of books... he found himself face to book with the man once more.

"Uh..."

"You said it yourself, kid. Place's haunted. And you're not leaving this library until you explain why you have trespassed upon my property."

Kiba, once more, blinked... and then realization dawned on him.

"You're a ghost."

The turning of a page; but no visible or audible answer.

Kiba paled.

_He really hated when Ino was right._

* * *

She had been with Shikamaru, Chouji, and Naruto. They had been split up into three groups of four:

Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino were all smart and could control Naruto. So they were all put together. Kiba and Neji were both headstrong and refused to let anything happen to Hinata or Hanabi. So they went together. And Shino, Tenten, Rock Lee, and Sakura were left to go together, as they usually were. Even though they were all friends, they had these little groups perfected between them at this point.

She wasn't with her team anymore.

The last thing she could remember was an uncomfortable rush of cold coming over her as she had followed her friends down a staircase that would undoubtedly lead to a basement.

Now, though... she was in the backyard. She didn't know _how_ she had gotten here. But she _did_ know that there was no realistic way she should be in a backyard, standing in front of a swimming pool.

Further more... there was no way there should be a pair of pale eyes staring up at her from just above the surface of the water. Especially not after she had been staring back at them for at least a full minute. If these eyes belonged to someone, they should have needed to get out of the water by now.

She had _told_ them this place was haunted. Now they were all going to die because her friends had refused to listen to her reasoning.

Above the eyes, though, there was a shock of spiky dark blue hair she couldn't deny. Just like she couldn't deny the fact that she was standing _outside_, in a backyard, instead of within a home.

She blinked down at the eyes for a few more seconds before clearing her throat and asking, "Are you a ghost?"

The water's surface rippled as the eyes began to rise while a full face appeared above the water. Now Ino could see the hardened face of a blue skinned man... that had gill-looking markings below his eyes.

"You're a smart guppy, ain't ya?"

Well, she _was_.

"Wait, you were human once?"

"Why? I don't like human enough for ya?"

Ino... felt... oddly comfortable. She didn't know why. She was supposed to be feeling terrified- she knew that supernatural beings were some she wasn't supposed to mess with. But the man in the water in front of her didn't seem dangerous... he seemed... _lonely._

"You've got really cool teeth." she relented, beginning to move forward until she could kneel in front of the pool. "My name's Ino. What's your's?"

The amused smirk that pulled at his lips showed off incredibly clearly the inhumanly sharp teeth within his mouth. But she wasn't afraid or even put off. Shikamaru had once commented on humans altering their appearance much further than simply cutting their hair or acquiring tattoos. Maybe this guy had altered his teeth before he had died... or maybe death had changed his appearance- what with the blue skin and gill looking marks on his face.

"Kisame." he answered as he slowly swam towards her. "You should be running away right now."

"Why?" she asked curiously as she kneeled on the dewy grass in front of the pool. "You called me guppy. That means you like me."

The smirk became vicious then, but the eyes seemed to soften. "Or I feel like eating you."

Ino smiled.

"Well, I like you, Mr. Kisame."

It was weird... she was supposed to be trying to run away. But this ghost was pretty interesting.

* * *

"So, what's up with you, kid? Don't ever get surprised?"

Shikamaru stopped himself just short from rolling his eyes at the spectral being seated in front of him.

The altar within the room seemed ancient, yet well kept. The wood was perfectly polished, without any specks of dust on the surface. And while the design itself was simple, Shikamaru was smart enough to see that the golden etchings and small figurine in the center of the piece were actual gold. The figurine itself was that of a serene looking man- undoubtedly old from the lack of details and rudimentary clothing on him- and there was the symbol of an upside down triangle within a circle on the center of his forehead.

"Hey, didn't no one ever teach you to answer questions?" The specter snapped his pale fingers, but barely a sound came from the action.

Shikamaru frowned but soon shrugged.

The sight had been surprising, sure, but he highly doubted that this holographic being was an actual ghost. It took some pretty sophisticated machinery to create an image as believable as this, but it wasn't completely out of the reach of someone with money and enough intelligence within the field... Probably. Granted, he had to give the red and black cloak the man was wearing really seemed to have a breeze blowing through its fabric. So this was more than just a simple machine, obviously.

And the surprise teleportation- it had all just been some kind of trap door that had opened up beneath his feet. His friends had gotten separated from him via different routes within the trapdoors system.

This house wasn't haunted. It just belonged to a special effects aficionado.

Soon enough, the white haired man's eyes followed Shikamaru's gaze. He turned to the side, looking back at the altar in the back of the room. And then the right corner of his lips quirked upwards before he turned back to look at him.

"Ever heard of Lord Jashin, kid?" He questioned, a devilish spark in his eyes.

Shikamaru was unnerved by the sight of it.

Quickly, the boy scoured his mind for such a name. But even in six years of constant learning, he had never heard such a name before. This bothered him, of course, because he had never not _known something_ in so long... it was a completely foreign feeling in his mind... and he did not like it.

"He's a god of war and conflict; love and peace; he is everything and nothing all at once." with a warm smile, the hologram began to move towards the altar. "Sit down. I'll give you an introductory lesson."

Shikamaru frowned- he didn't even like it when his parents tried to drag him to church on 'special' occasions. Why in the world did he want to listen to some incorporeal voice about a god that probably didn't even exist?

With a sigh, though, the boy threw himself at the wooden floor and placed his left cheek in his left palm. He may as well be comfortable if he was going to be forced to listen to this.

* * *

Naruto liked this guy.

Sure, he had no idea if this guy really was the ghost he was trying to tell him he was, but he was _fun_.

"Quick, little guy! You've got to toss that ball in the bin before the Sam's jaws get ya!"

Again, he didn't know why he was so scared of Uncle Sam, but he was, once again, _fun_.

The ball within his hands was rubbery and cold- colder than any ball he'd ever played with before. But it was small than a softball, although bigger than a baseball, and was just the perfect size for throwing.

With a hearty throw, the pale brown ball soared through the sky and slammed into the trash can within the small bedroom. It was odd that they were playing such a volatile game within such a small room, but it was fun. Yahiko was attempting his best to stop him from scoring and Naruto was doing his best to always score.

"He shoots, he scores! The little blonde from the realm of the living has won the tournament! Look at him reach the big leagues in no time- he is the one to watch!" the orange haired man cheered as he glided towards Naruto, only to grab him and pick him up to begin throwing him into the air.

Naruto, of course, reveled in the attention and cheered and laughed along with the guy.

Unfortunately, their fun was interrupted by a stern female voice speaking up.

"Yahiko, the child has to be returned."

"Naruto, you found a ghost too?"

"Hey, I know that voice!"

When Yahiko finally put him down, he was able to look in the direction the female voices had come from. But when he looked at the wall, he just found... a wall.

"Huh?"

Slowly, two female bodies began to materialize through the solid surface. One with purple hair- the other with pink.

"Hi, Sakura!"

His friend smiled softly and waved over at him, even though she kept her gaze on the purple haired woman beside her.

"Wow. These really _are_ ghosts." Naruto remarked, "That is so cool!"

"Yeah. We're cool." Yahiko commented behind him, "C'mon, Konan! They just got here."

The woman was wearing a simple dark dress, but Naruto could see some smudges and stains on the piece. There even seemed to be a tear on her stomach- but he wasn't sure if he was just imagining it because... her stomach was dark too? But her skin was supposed to be pale. It was weird.

"Yahiko."

"How many more of them are there?"

"Yahiko."

"Sakura, these guys could totally scare those mean teenagers, right?"

"We totally could, little guy!"

"Yahiko!"

There was a pause of silence, then he heard the man groan, "You're no fun, Konan."

"They're living. We're dead."

Naruto frowned.

He liked Yahiko. Why couldn't they be friends?

~..~..~

I think two or three more chapters and I finish this story officially!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So sorry it has taken me a year to update this! _But_ this is a purely Halloween story and I didn't really feel like it'd be appropriate to update this during the year. So I waited until spooky time arrived, got back some inspiration by watching some of those favored holiday classics (Scary Godmother is still an uncanny valley treat I love with all of my heart), and now here is the penultimate chapter for this short little story!

~..~..~

The child that landed on his worktable had been making a glutton of himself on a bag of chips.

As soon as he crashed into his wooden table, slamming into all of the puppet parts that had been laid out there to work on, the bag of chips flew out of his hands.

Much to his ire and _disgust_, the chips that had been within the bag escaped the confines of the flimsy material that made up the bag and scattered _everywhere_. The openings at the ends of the puppet parts were immediately invaded by the offending scraps of modern food, corrupting everywhere they touched.

Sasori frowned, his grip on his paintbrush tightening just as his eyebrows narrowed to turn his face into a scathing glare.

He had known that living intruders had breached the prison of his eternal damnation the moment they had crossed through the threshold. But he had not been expecting to have to see any of them- much less _meet them_.

"Ow." the little boy groaned, sitting up as he began to rub at his back. "What happened?"

His eyes were somewhat unfocused as he began to look around his new surroundings; Sasori's frown only deepened upon having to hear the squeaky voice of a prepubescent annoyance.

When he had died, he had wholly believed he would be left at peace and never have to deal with another irritating soul ever again. Death was supposed to lead him towards eternal rest, after all. And rest required only one person- there was no need for anyone else near him after death.

But he had been horribly wrong to believe such a notion.

Not only was he forced to share the rest of his eternity with the bumbling fools that had lived within his home before him _along with those that had lived here after him_, now he was even forced to deal with a _child_.

He should end this child's miserable life right here and now before he was able to cause any further damage to his miniscule paradise surrounded by a hellish existence surrounded by idiotic phantasms.

Heaven's knew he would be doing this brat a favor by ending his life. The existence of a living being was rife with pain, struggle, and only the sparsest moments of fleeting, delusional, happiness.

"Huh? Who're you?"

Sasori frowned at the curious eyes of the plump child, his own lighter eyes narrowing at the sight.

It would be very easy to end his breathing. His puppets were physical, after all. And one smooth movement of the blade on the end of the arm he had been working on was all he truly needed to-

The rest of the pitiful inhabitants of this home were congregating. The lifeforce of the living was beginning to accumulate just like the undead. Clearly, they were having an impromptu meeting- undoubtedly to deal with the current situation.

Thoughts of ending this boy's life dwindled as Sasori began to think that all he needed to do was drag this waste of oxygen to the place where the rest of his torturers were meeting- then he would be out of his hair and he would be able to continue his afterlife in relative peace. Humans were horrible creatures that only brought about destruction. And while he could do nothing about the dead, he could at least push the living out of his home.

Sasori allowed a small sigh to leave him as he pushed against his worktable, fragile limbs strong and unfeeling in death.

This would be for the best, he could admit. Blood was a nuisance to clean.

* * *

"You kids have a good eye for art!"

The three children were clearly related- Deidara had a good eye for beauty and all three, even as young as they were, had beautiful souls. Their eyes, pale and ethereal, truly were windows into their souls. And he would bet Sasori's irrational and kind of overdramatic soul that these children would grow up to become living personifications of the kind of fragile, pale beauty that was once strived for during the Heian Period of Japanese history.

He had not expected to have these children appear within his workshop as he had been preparing the latest scene out of clay birds- the tenth in the month. But when the three had fallen in a graceless pile in the middle of the organized chaos that was his eternal resting place, Deidara had immediately pounced on the opportunity to get a living beings opinion on the artwork he was creating.

It had been the tallest of the three- the one with the longest hair- to speak up. And he had murmured that the scene was interesting, yet breathtaking, in a way he was not able to explain. The shortest of the three had continued with a quick nod, even though this child had said nothing. The third child, the one with a height in between that of her companions, had stuttered out how beautiful she considered the scene to be.

Now Deidara was luxuriating in the warmth of life as he took them through a tour of the work he had been dabbling in for the past few years. The ceramic work was something he was proud of- specifically because he had _finally_, after a lifetime of being artistically blocked and uninspired, found something to work on. It had just taken his death, a handful of decades, and the sudden visit of those damned Uchiha idiots, but he had finally found what _drove_ him.

The children didn't really fight against him. He wasn't sure if it was because they were absolutely enthralled with the mix of paintings and ceramic in a mixed-media display for all of his more recent work; but he didn't care, really. For all intents and purposes, these children may just be following him out of fear of getting killed. That was inconsequential to him. He was just happy to take them around his display cases and show off what had taken a whole existence to create.

"Now _this_ one is particularly special to me." he informed the pale eyed trio as they arrived to the final display, the one at the very back of this incredibly long hallway. "I haven't lit it up yet... It's my _coup de grace_ and have been waiting for the _right time_." he smiled, ignoring his absolutely atrocious French. "It's true beauty is ephemeral, swift, and merely temporary."

He had been inspired by his visit to those lovely Ainu villagers all those years ago _and_ the Uchiha's passion. The piece held a painted background of a muddled village scene; its forefront was composed of painfully intricate human-like figures he had attempted to emulate the Jomon culture's dogu figurines. As it stood, it was a somewhat boring scene that merely seemed to depict a bloodless conflict. But when he lit it up... the ceramic would spark up, blacken, ashen, _destroy_, at the same time the scenery would catch on fire.

Just like life itself, all of his work was meant to eventually end. But this was the only piece he had found the heart to appropriately rig.

"L-light u-u-up?" the oldest of the girls- Neji was the name of the tallest child; Hanabi and Hinata were sisters- stuttered.

"What do you mean?" Neji followed up.

Deidara smiled.

"You two are very correct." he nodded, making his way towards the display. "There is absolutely nothing stopping us from enjoying this transient artistry right now."

* * *

"Why were they all split up? Which one of you idiots decided to mess with the time and space continuum to move these children?"

"I believe you mean invaders, Naga-turd."

The soft-spoken male sighed softly at the insult hurled his way as Hidan entered the meeting area, pushing forward the eleventh child to have entered their home.

Shino, the boy that had wound up in Nagato's office area, was sitting beside the more soft-spoken children. They all seemed related, if their similar skin tones, eye and hair color, and finely-woven clothes were anything to go by. And all four of them were paying attention to Deidara forming clay birds before their eyes.

Nagato did not miss the dark coloring- as if ash and soot had stained them- of the clothes of the similar looking children. And it wouldn't surprise him at all to find out if Deidara had finally gotten around to destroying his art now that he had found an audience.

Yahiko was flying around the room, holding onto a rope that was, in turn, wrapped around a young blonde boy's torso. That was dangerous, Nagato knew. And Konan had already scolded them both; but that hadn't stopped either male from being a complete idiot. And, quite frankly, Nagato just didn't have it within him to tell Yahiko to stop having fun. It had been quite a few decades since he had seen his best friend so happy.

In all honesty, it did his cold existence good to suddenly have the warmth of life within this home once again.

The boy that had been brought in by Hidan took one look at everyone within the room and frowned softly as soon as he noticed that one of the more lovely members of his group of friends was currently zooming through the skies. The room was corporeal, of course, while Yahiko was mostly solid. The dark haired boy pursed his lips at the exact same time his eyes narrowed.

"Pretty advanced machines." he heard the kid mumble to himself just before he shrugged and began to make his way towards the group of conglomerated children. "We're missing one." he sighed softly.

"We're missing two of our own." Kakuzu grunted as he kept a glare on the boy with the black hair and the young puppy he had carried into the room.

"Kakuzu, I believe the gag is unnecessary." Konan sighed as she passed her brush over the pink hair of the girl she had introduced as Sakura.

This girl was not paying attention to the ghost in the sharp business suit that had, essentially, tied up and silenced her friend. No, she was more focused on the blonde human girl that was currently failing at grabbing the brush necessary to start dealing with Kisame's hair. The blue skinned man was smirking in amusement at each grunt and growl of frustration and Nagato wouldn't be surprised if the pink haired living being was terrified of the sharpness of his teeth.

"When brats act like criminals, they get treated like criminals." Kakuzu shook his head, "We shouldn't be rounding them up- we should just be throwing them out of my home."

"_Our_ home!" Yahiko sung from the skies, earning a displeased groan from the green eyes businessman. "It's not just yours, old man."

"Don't remind me."

Nagato coughed into his hand, calling attention back to himself in an attempt to get them all on the same page. That was a failed endeavor because the children were all focused on paying attention to the different dead people around them; and only Kakuzu and Sasori were truly paying attention to him. The rest were luxuriating in the attention the living were giving to them.

Even Konan, the most logical of the people they now spent eternity with, was more focused on the children than _doing what was right_.

"Someone should go find the Uchiha." he murmured eventually, earning a displeased groan from Hidan.

"We can just ignore those bastards!"

"Language!" Deidara hissed, "To be the oldest of us, you sure act the most childish."

With a roll of his red eyes, the Jashinist priest pointed out that foreigners had no right to make any comment on any matter that wasn't directly related to his exit from a country he did not belong in.

Nagato sighed.

"I'll go get the Uchiha."

No one listened to him.

He began to make his way out of the large living room of their home when soft footsteps came up to him. This was odd- the living were all mostly reunited.

"I'll go with you."

Nagato blinked as the mostly covered up Shino Aburame appeared beside him.

He couldn't really read the child because of the heavy layers he wore. But he did hear the slightest panting from the child... could the reason he was so covered up be that he had a weak immune system?

Nagato felt himself swayed as soon as he contemplated this.

"Alright."

They headed off together to find the last people they needed to go about their little meeting.

* * *

Sasuke frowned.

Two pairs of eyes- as dark as his own- glared back down at him.

He knew these two.

Well, no, he _didn't_. He didn't know their names, after all. Nor did he know what had happened to them; what they had done with their lives. But he knew that these were members of his extended family- he had seen their pictures in the family albums around a year ago, when he had been looking for dirt on Itachi so they could blackmail his older brother into betraying his band of annoying teenagers.

"You look _familiar_."

The man with the long hair spoke with a deep voice and there was absolutely no ease or comfort to his tone. It was cold, stern, and unforgiving. In a way, it reminded Sasuke of his father.

"Ah, shut up, Madara. The others called for a meeting- it's probably got something with the intruders. We should take him to-" the one with the short hair was cut off with a hiss from the one with the long hair.

"I am not going anywhere until I find out why this _brat_ looks so familiar."

The one with the short hair frowned dramatically in a way that reminded Sasuke of his best friend.

These two were strange.

How had he even wound up in this bedroom? And why was it so sparse? There was barely any furniture in here... was that a burn mark on the wall?

..~..~..

Hope y'all enjoyed! And, don't worry, the next (_and last_) chapter will be much longer. I promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I grew up watching Code Name: Kid's Next Door and, for some reason, while I was writing this, I just felt the need to have the children and teenagers within this story have an intense rivalry like the one in the aforementioned cartoon. And so now there's a Konoha where the children and teenagers all love each other but can't stand the sight of one another.
> 
> It's Halloween time, my dear readers, and I've been wanting to write a cute but spooky story for most of my life now. And I've finally found a plot that I felt was good enough for publishing! I hope you all enjoy the small ride we're about to embark on together.
> 
> Please comment and tell me what you thought!


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